Somewhereduring the school day roaming gangs of sport players would choose whofrom their gang would fight, and who they intended to beat up.Unfortunately that person, many times, and many days, was me.Some people would say, you just need to fight once and then they wouldleave you alone. Not here, not in this town. If you fought and won, theywould simply throw someone else at you until you lost. It was about thistime that I discovered my own ability to find stress relief. Yes, youknow what that was. I did it a lot. How I discovered it was anotherstory.One day I was digging through some boxes. My parents were away, and Icame across a box of nightgowns. Why my parents had them, I will neverknow. But when I touched them I instantly became enthralled by theirfeel. Silky and smooth, they felt so good against the skin. So much so Istripped down and slipped on one. I was so excited, first because I knewI should not be doing that, but second by the pure exhilaration of how itfelt. I. Have fun, have sex, always use a condom, and just enjoy your real friends — girl friends. I realised I agreed with her. Boys used girls, why shouldn’t girls use boys. So that’s been my life until…’ ‘Until you met me?’ ‘Until I met you. You needed me and I loved being needed, part of being a nurse I suppose. Our relationship grew without sex. I used to pick lads for their looks but always made sure they were gentle, I couldn’t abide the arrogant ones who thought you needed to be taken hard, often before you were ready. ‘You weren’t good looking but I’d been with you through the worst of your recovery and we had been through it all together. We shared our lives and gradually I began to fancy you. This time it was not a boy’s hard body but a man’s courage and guts that did it for me. I wanted you sexually as well as everything else and I used your fear of going out to have my way with you. ‘I thought I was in the driving seat. I was going to teach you about sex. But then… that first.
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